A piano teacher in a small mountain community is facing a difficult decision after discovering that some of her students are reportedly involved in bullying, even allegedly “jumping” another child after school.
The teacher, Sonya Fechner-Desoto, shared her dilemma in a Facebook group called Piano Teachers PLUS, sparking a heated debate among fellow music educators.
Sonya, who has lived in her tight-knit mountain community for 10 years, says she recently found out that two of her students and one of their brothers form what she describes as a “gang of bullies.”
The children are 11 years old and reportedly attacked a classmate after school. Making matters more complicated, she says the school principal is personally close to all three boys, with the children apparently having regular playdates at the principal’s home.
“I have recently learned that 2 of my students and one of my students’ brothers are a gang of bullies,” Sonya wrote. “If I eliminate the bullies I might lose 3 students in total. Since I am in a small community I suspect it will be front page news.”
She is also worried about financial and professional consequences if she lets the students go, and their families retaliate with slander.
Yet she feels a moral obligation to act, noting that she and her husband have always stood firm against bullying behavior, even from adults in the community. She also revealed that a police officer’s wife, who serves as a yard duty mom at the school, is aware of the situation, but nothing has been done.
Fellow piano teachers in the group had mixed reactions. Marion Worsham Latimer encouraged Sonya to keep teaching them, saying,
“Sometimes lessons in music make an impact that you don’t realize until later. If they aren’t hurting you personally, I would keep teaching them and help them learn and process treatment of others through the lessons.”
Abigail Eades questioned the decision to drop them as students altogether.
“I’m confused why you would fire them as students? Consider the positive influence you as their teacher and a music education can have on their lives,” she said.
Abigail Eades
Not everyone agreed. Lynne Walker sided with Sonya’s hesitation, saying, “I wouldn’t want to teach kids of such low moral character either. It’s a tough dilemma.” That drew a sharp response from Abigail, who shot back, “So only kids of high moral character deserve music education and the time and attention of a caring adult?”
Chris Blinn urged caution about acting on secondhand information.
“My advice is to stay out of it unless you directly witnessed it and even then I’d be very careful. The rumor mill can exaggerate or completely change the facts of the situation.”
Chris Blinn
Joseph Marchese raised another concern entirely, saying,
“A police officer knows and hasn’t done anything about it? I worry you’ve got big problems in your mountain town.”
Joseph Marchese
Sonya has since revealed that the students have also shown disrespect inside her studio and toward her property, suggesting the problem is no longer limited to what happens outside her lessons.
With the boys on the verge of entering junior high, Sonya believes the window to intervene is closing fast. For now, she is weighing her options carefully, knowing that in a small town, every move she makes will be watched closely.
