Cindy Self, the wife of Kansas Jayhawks head coach Bill Self, is an extraordinary woman whose life story is completely connected with her husband’s excellent basketball career.
They’ve been married since August 12, 1988, and their relationship has been a big part of Bill’s success on and off the court.
Cindy Self was born in Oklahoma City and grew up in Yukon, Oklahoma. Her parents were very supportive; her father worked as a county comptroller, and her mother was a former secretary.
Cindy attended Yukon High School as a cheerleader and participated in track, softball, and gymnastics.
Her love for sports continued into her college years at Oklahoma State University (OSU), where she graduated in 1986 with a degree in education.
While at OSU, Cindy was also a men’s basketball team cheerleader.
Their love story began at Oklahoma State University in the mid-1980s, where they first met. They dated for four years before deciding to spend their lives together.
At that time, Bill was a talented basketball player, and Cindy was a cheerleader for the men’s basketball team.

Their relationship blossomed over four years of dating, culminating in their marriage in 1988.
Considering their path forward, Cindy once shared that she wasn’t initially a fan of Bill but grew to admire his passion and determination.
The couple has two children: Tyler and Lauren. Tyler followed in his father’s footsteps by playing basketball for Kansas for four years and now serves as the general manager of the Austin Spurs in the NBA G League.
Lauren has also been a source of pride for the family.
The Selfs reside in Lawrence, Kansas, where they have built a loving home despite Bill’s coaching career demands.
Being Married To One Of College Basketball’s Most Successful Coaches Is No Small Feat, But Cindy Has Handled It Gracefully
Bill often talks about how much she supports him, describing her as “the perfect coach’s wife.” She is always there for him and their family.
“If there was such a thing as a perfect coach’s wife, Cindy would be her. She is unselfish of my time, she is independent but always there to focus on the team and our family.“
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In his 2017 Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame induction speech, he highlighted Cindy’s sacrifices and her ability to balance family life with the pressures of his career.
‘Being a coach’s wife isn’t easy, and it takes on many challenges, but she has been with me through every step of this journey and has been so supportive and sacrificed so much for me to chase my dream.“
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Bill stays calm during stressful games with her encouraging messages.
He recalls how her calming text messages during games have helped him stay focused.
Cindy has remained constantly supportive despite the challenges of being married to a coach whose schedule is dominated by travel and public commitments.
She has dedicated much of her life to philanthropy.
She holds a master’s degree in elementary education from Central State University and has worked tirelessly to support youth initiatives.
Alongside Bill, she co-founded the Assists Foundation in 2006, focusing on aiding young people through educational and athletic programs.
Additionally, Cindy volunteers with organizations like Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and the Lawrence Schools Foundation.
Cindy’s kindness and generosity make a big difference in her community.
Over nearly four decades together, Cindy and Bill have shared countless milestones—from raising their children to celebrating championship victories with the Jayhawks.
Their relationship is strong because they respect and support each other, share values, and have an unbreakable bond forged during their college years.
Cindy’s journey from being an athlete and cheerleader to becoming an educator and philanthropist is inspiring.
The philanthropist’s rise from college basketball player to one of the most celebrated coaches in NCAA history mirrors that of her husband.
In Case You Didn’t Know
- Self has led the team to 17 Big 12 regular-season championships, four NCAA Final Four appearances, and the NCAA Championships in 2008 and 2022.
- Bill Eugene Self Jr. was born in Okmulgee, Oklahoma, where his father was the girls’ basketball coach at nearby Morris High School.
- In 1985, Self joined Larry Brown’s coaching staff at the University of Kansas.