A concerned North Texas baseball parent has sparked a heated discussion in the North Texas Select Baseball Facebook group after describing troubling behavior from some young players on her son’s 11U team.
Posting anonymously, the parent expressed frustration with what she called “a few kids with bad attitudes” who “talk back to the coaches and throw fits.”
The parent wrote,
“Please take it easy on me, I’m new to this sport,” “My son is playing on a team and there are a few kids with bad attitudes about the game and they’re disrespectful. They don’t even act like they want to be there. They talk back to the coaches and throw fits. We are playing 11U. I fear it will get in the way of my own kid continuing to grow as a player. Does every team have bad apples or are most coaches more strict? I want my kid to continue to grow as an athlete and I don’t want to team hop but this feels frustrating.”
Anonymous Parent
The post grabbed dozens of responses from other parents and coaches, many of whom sympathized with the dilemma and shared their own experiences.
Several commenters agreed that the responsibility ultimately falls on the coaches to maintain discipline and set clear expectations. Alex Rodriguez commented,
Run away asap if a coach can’t control an 11-year-old he has no business coaching. If he is PAID. If he is a volunteer coach, you get what you pay for.”
Alex Rodriguez
Others suggested that poor player behavior often starts at home. One anonymous commenter noted that “kids that behave that way to other players and coaches are hearing conversations they shouldn’t from their parents at home.”
The commenter added,
Kids that behave that way to other players and coaches are hearing conversations they shouldn’t from their parents at home. Parents talk crap about coaches and other players in front of their kid. Kid thinks it’s ok to behave that way. A good coach will remove those kids from the team.
Anonymous participant 300
Another user speculated that the issue might stem from younger or inexperienced coaches:
Let me guess- college players are the coaches? Dads don’t usually allow this crap.
Anonymous participant 340
Some commenters took a more nuanced view, recognizing that youth sports can also serve as a platform to teach life lessons.
One participant encouraged the parents to use the situation as a teaching opportunity:
At 11u I would have your son ask the coach about it with you in the distance but within ear shot of your son and the coach. Be sure to talk to your son first as to how he approaches the coach. It should be more of, “coach I’m concerned for the team as a whole and it seems like we would be better as a group if these things were addressed.”
Anonymous participant 387
Others, like Matt Feemster, argued that the issue often lies as much with the parents of the “bad apples” as with the coaches:
See a lot of blaming coaches, “ if the coach can’t handle him there is your sign” the coach can only do so much? Why aren’t the parents of the players doing anything, that is their child, parents if your child has a bad attitude, throws their equipment that you pay your hard earned money for. Has a bad attitude towards his teammates it is Your job as a parent to yank them off the field. You as a parent need to hold your child accountable. Because if you as a parent don’t hold them accountable then you can’t expect a coach to. And if it’s a coaches kid shame on him for allowing that. Cause dads you can’t coach them forever, and what you put up with another coach won’t.
Matt Feemster
As the discussion evolved, commenters split into two camps: those urging the parent to leave immediately, and those suggesting patience. One user wrote,
if the kids are just bad and your halfway thru the season, it’s a opportunity for your kid to learn that we do what we do bc it’s right & are not influenced by other individuals. It’s a opportunity for him to see how those kids self sabotage with their attitudes and why coaches don’t give them as many chances and how everyone doesn’t like being around them.. just a good lesson on why to not be a ass head …
Anonymous participant 166
For many families involved in competitive youth baseball, team chemistry and culture are just as important as skill development. As one commenter, Adam Donnell, wrote,
We’ve removed ourselves from a team over over a bad attitude or two. Main rule for players on any team should be to be a good teammate. Being a good teammate and effort require zero skill. Only takes one to poison the well and damage chemistry.
Adam Donnell
Another parent, Brett Hinton, concluded on a more hopeful note:
We have been around teams like that. Luckily for us we found a team that not only do the coaches manage the attitudes but the kids hold each other accountable.
Brett Hinton
