Every parent has been there. You hear the front door open, say a simple “hello,” and get an eye roll or a grunt in return.
For many parents across the country, dealing with moody, attitude-heavy teenagers has become a daily reality, and a recent community discussion on VOP News STL’s Facebook page proved just how universal the struggle really is.
The post asked parents a straightforward question:
how many of you are dealing with teens who seem bothered by everything, even a greeting?
The responses came flooding in, and what emerged was not just a wave of frustrated parents venting, but a surprisingly deep conversation about why teenagers behave the way they do when they walk through the front door.
The Mask They Wear All Day
One of the most insightful responses came from Lingo Kourt, who shared wisdom passed down from her grandmother.
“They spend all day with their peers being someone they are NOT, leave them drained when they come home, they have to be who they really are and have to follow rules.”
Lingo Kourt
It was a simple observation, but it stopped many readers in their tracks.
Cena Angel took that thought even further, explaining that teenagers spend hours surrounded by emotionally immature peers, which drains them completely. “Then they bring it back home to adjust,” she wrote, adding that parents need to teach their kids to stay true to themselves. “If they don’t surround themselves with positive influences then they adapt to the environment.”
Erin Ford brought a perspective rooted in empathy and brain science.
“Being a teenager these days is HARD. It was hard for us, but we did it without smartphones in our faces 24/7, immortalizing every cringe moment for eternity. Brains aren’t even fully cooked until 20+.”
Erin Ford
She said that unless the behavior crosses a clear line, she tries to remember how she felt in high school, factor in today’s social media pressure, and give her teen some grace.
Jason Jenkins kept it short and put everything in perspective with one simple reminder:
“They said the same about us when we were teens.”
Jason Jenkins
How Parents Are Responding
Not every parent in the comment section was looking for explanations. Some made clear they were not having it at all.
Monique Millard-Jackson, a mother of six teenagers, summed up her approach plainly: “I have 6 teens and I be on they ass.” Tiff Jones was equally direct, making clear she meets attitude with consequences every single time.
Kimberly Houston-Williams described a balanced approach she and her husband take with their 15-year-old son, who stands at six feet tall while she stands at just 5’2.
“We show him love but also discipline. But he knows better no matter how tall he stands over mama bear.”
Kimberly Houston-Williams
Allisa Garth-Simril said her youngest tests her patience the most, but she handles it quickly.
“I put him in check real quick and once he cools off, he apologizes for being disrespectful.” Michelle Royal kept her advice simple and firm: “Rule number one, you are not your kids’ friend. That is where the confusion starts.”
Allisa Garth-Simril
Some parents shared that their teens were actually doing well. Kiana Johnson said her 16-year-old has been complimented on his manners since he was small, and outside of occasionally having to repeat herself, she has no real complaints.
Kay Marie shared a different trigger for her son’s bad moods, saying online gaming and toxic talk from other kids online sends him into a funk for the rest of the day, so she simply makes him go to bed and reset.
Even Daija Isaac jumped in with a laugh, noting the attitude problem is not limited to teenagers in her house:
“Teens? Baby, she’s six and fits the description.”
Daija Isaac
What the conversation made clear is that raising teenagers is not a one-size-fits-all experience.
Some kids need more grace, some need firmer structure, and most need a little of both.
But understanding why they come home the way they do might just be the first step toward meeting them where they are.
