A parent’s anonymous post in an ADHD parents’ support group has sparked a broader conversation about school discipline and bullying.
In the post, the parent shared that their son received a referral and an in-school suspension after pouring milk on another student who had allegedly tried to punch him.
According to the parent, the other child did not receive any visible consequences, prompting the question: “Does that seem right?”
My son got a Referral at school for pouring milk on one of his kids in his grade after that kid tried to punch him , my son has in school Suspension ,but the other kid got nothing does that seem right ….
Anonymous Parents
The post quickly grabbed responses from parents with similar experiences, many of whom expressed frustration.
Several commenters shared stories of their own children being disciplined after retaliating against bullying.
One parent described an incident where their son was surrounded by five boys and bullied until he pushed one of them. The pushed child fell and was injured, resulting in the commenter’s son being suspended for a week.
Other parents reportedly reached out afterward, saying they believed their own children would have reacted the same way.
Another parent recounted years of bullying endured by their daughter, including stolen belongings, physical attacks, and verbal threats.
The situation, they said, was not addressed until a serious threat was made, at which point the bully was removed from the school.
The parent expressed frustration that earlier incidents were seemingly ignored, particularly given their daughter’s learning challenges and ADHD.
Some parents noted that once a child is “labeled,” whether for behavioral or learning differences, they feel that schools are quicker to assign blame.
“It just keeps going,” one commenter wrote, describing repeated incidents where their child was disciplined after reacting to provocation.
This happens all the time for me.. and i feel that now that he has be labeled… it just keeps going …
KindOlive6047
2 years ago .. he was surrounded by 5 boys .. who were bullying him bad ! .. till he reacted.. pushed one of the kids … and of course they were outside and the kid hit his head and my son ended up being suspended for a week…
Others pointed out that schools are often legally unable to disclose disciplinary actions taken against other students.
One parent shared that after their son was attacked with a laptop by another student, the school told them they could not reveal what consequences, if any, the other child received. “I don’t need to know the exact consequences,” the parent said. “I just want to know that there were consequences.”
Not all commenters agreed with the idea that the situation was unfair. Some emphasized the difference between attempted and completed actions.
One commenter stated that “tried to punch” is not the same as actually making contact, while pouring milk on another student is a confirmed action.
My son got suspended for breaking someone’s nose but they had cctv showing this other boy punching my son repeatedly to the back of the head. Unfortunately when my son retaliated he was the one who caused harm. And this had happened for years before my son hit back, which I told him to. I haven’t put him back to school since because whats the point. We wouldnt tolerate this in a workplace so dont need the comments about “preparing him for the real world”. He is 15 for reference
Anonymous Participant 414
Still, many parents felt that schools often overlook patterns of bullying until a visible injury or rule violation occurs.
One parent described an incident caught on CCTV where their son was repeatedly punched, but when he retaliated and broke the other child’s nose, he was the one suspended.
Some parents advocated for stronger parental intervention, including calling the school directly or escalating concerns.
Others encouraged teaching children to seek help from teachers before situations escalate, while acknowledging that this does not always prevent incidents.
