In a heartfelt post shared to the Wrestle Like A Girl community forum, Minnesota mom Trista Dawn Heywood opened up about the pain of watching her daughter get bullied simply for doing something she loves, wrestling.
Heywood wrote,
“I’m just wondering if anyone else’s daughter has experienced bullying because ‘she’s a girl and wrestles,’” . “My daughter has been getting made fun of at school, and it is so heartbreaking because she loves and has such a passion for the sport. I just don’t understand why kids have to be so rude.”
Trista Dawn Heywood
Her post quickly resonated with parents and wrestlers across the country, who flooded the comments with messages of empathy, encouragement, and their own painful, yet inspiring, experiences.
One commenter, Margaret Williams, related immediately. She wrote,
I got bullied in high school for wrestling and they all got quiet when they realized I was going to college for it
Margaret Williams
Another young woman, Brooklyn Robinson, shared that she, too, had been in those same shoes. Robinson said,
I was in her shoes. Let her know that will always happen but you will find the people on the team that see she puts in the same work. Same time. Same heart and passion in the sport and stay with them. People still talk about me. My wrestling etc in a rude way and I just won state this last winter. They will hate while she grows and in the end only she will have something to show for it
Brooklyn Robinson
Others, like Rylee Macdonald, offered direct mentorship and support. Macdonald said,
It’s times like these where I would love to get these young women in contact with some of my girls who have wrestled for me and are now in college because they never let the mean words take them out of the sport completely. As a woman who wrestled in high school and middle school I can’t say it was always easy. Kids are mean sometimes and they say really distasteful things HOWEVER it is so important that these wrestlers who feel discouraged or disrespected know that there is a support system of girls who they may not even know who want to see them succeed.
Rylee Macdonald
Macdonald even mentioned that she coaches a team called Big Money Movin’, made up of young women who have gone on to wrestle in college.
She offered to have her older athletes reach out to girls like Heywood’s daughter who might need encouragement.
Support also poured in from other parents who have watched their daughters endure similar treatment. Steven MaKayla Esterline wrote,
My daughter has had her “friends” tell her she is weird, it’s lame that she wrestles and have even stopped involving her in most things. My daughter still continues to choose wrestling every time. She loves to wrestle.
Steven MaKayla Esterline
Riley Lerner, a 20-year-old wrestler and coach, offered encouragement from her own journey. She said,
I’ve had some nasty things said to me, and I’ve also helped a few girls who were getting bullied for the same reason… tell her to keep her head up, and if she needs a pen pal, I am currently on a team ranked 23rd in the nation… i know a few ladies who would love to help lift her spirits, including myself. Until then, please tell your daughter to keep her head up! She is tough, beautiful, smart, and belongs in this sport just like everyone else does! I started when I was 4, and am almost 20 now. I not only still compete, but I am also a coach and am working towards my USAW silver certification at the moment. This sport has given me so many different opportunities, and has allowed for me to meet some of my closest friends, despite having to snap back at the haters at times! I know it will do the same for her!
Riley Lerner
Some parents found humor and empowerment in the situation. Tyler Chambers wrote,
We tell our daughter to hand out free wrestling lessons when dealing with bully’s
Tyler Chambers
Meanwhile, Jessica McDonald said her child is “armed with some witty comebacks like, ‘Wrestling build character, you should try it.’ Reinforcing that your child do the things the enjoy regardless of input from others is a priceless life lesson.”
Not all experiences were negative. Earle Andrade commented that his daughter was looked up to at her school because of wrestling.
Similarly, Monica Griffin said her daughter’s confidence soared through the sport. She wrote,
My daughter has never been made fun of she has a close relationship with all her friends (male & female), a lot of kids are afraid of my daughter we don’t even know why she has never gotten in a fight. They say because she’s a wrestler & a Softball player she must be strong cause all the work outs. She’s learned to not care what anyone thinks of her, wrestling has given her so much confidence.
Monica Griffin
High school senior Lillian Davidson urged Heywood’s daughter not to give up:
coming from a senior in high school who wrestles tell her not to listen to them. if wrestling is what makes her happy then NOBODY should be saying anything. it’s a sport majority of them don’t even have the balls to do. she’s is so strong for even going onto the mat and giving it her all. tell her to never give up and don’t let people dull her shine. she will be an amazing wrestler they will all be jealous of. all of those kids need to find happiness, she’s a bright kid with a bright future. don’t let little immature idiots try to bring her down. she’s part of an amazing growing sport and she should be so proud of herself. i’m supporting her all the way in arkansas!!
Lillian Davidson
Abbey Puffenbarger, who’s been wrestling for three years, shared how she’s been called names like “gay” and “weird.”
But, she wrote,
I’ve been wrestling for 3 years and people always tell me I’m “gay” and “weird” for wrestling (but I mainly wrestle men so I don’t get it). But never let it stop you from being you. People will talk, but always stay true to yourself and what you love.
Abbey Puffenbarger
Jamie Iverson, whose son is a wrestler, offered perspective:
My son gets called gay all the time. And that he sucks. And he actually pretty good and Varsity his freshman year. We cant control what others do. We can only control what we do. Build her confidence. Not saying it dont matter but we won’t be able to fight that battle forever even though our momma bear wants. Girls wrestling is the fastest growing sport. I I have 4 girls also and they all have wrestled. And they are not ad guildle as my son. No one dares pick a fight with them.
Jamie Iverson
