23-Time Olympic Gold Medalist Michael Phelps Once Said ‘I Didn’t Want to Be Alive Anymore’ While Battling Depression and PTSD

The USA nearly lost its best swimmer back in 2014!

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The best swimmer in the world, Michael Phelps, once even thought of ending his life due to depression and PTSD, saying, ‘I didn’t want to be alive anymore’.

Michael Phelps first experienced “post-Olympic depression” following the 2004 Athens Olympics, where he won eight medals.

According to Phelps, after winning the Olympics in 2004, he felt unsure about what to do next and was curious about what the future would hold.

During his interview with NBC News, he shared his thoughts regarding PTSD, saying:

I would say probably 2004. 2004 was my first taste of post-Olympic depression, coming off such a high. It’s basically you get to, and I think the edge of the cliff, near like, cool now. I guess in a way, for more years, I had a chance to do it again, right? So, and for those who don’t have a successful Olympics, those four years can feel like an absolutely turn. For me, 2004 is my first. 2008 was my second taste of post-Olympic depression because coming off of that high after doing some things set up like you set out to do your whole entire life. My goal is to do something no one else has ever done before.

Following that, Phelps continued when the reporter asked if he knew it was depression or if he thought he was just lost.

I think at that point, you know, like… Also, as a male athlete, I could tell something was off. But I think I saw it as a sign of weakness. And if I shared anything about it, then it would give my competitors an edge. And I’m not trying to do that, right? I don’t want to give my competitors an advantage; I’m trying to be better than anybody who has ever been. So for me, I looked at it as weakness. I had to learn that vulnerability is a good thing. It was scary at first, but I learned that vulnerability just means change. And for me, it was a great change.

Following his depression journey, Phelps has expressed that therapy helped him feel comfortable in his own skin and accept his authentic self.

He continues to prioritize his mental health, recognizing that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

PTSD Nearly Took the Life of Legendary Olympian, the Best in the World, Michael Phelps, Who Once Said ‘I Didn’t Want to Be Alive Anymore’!

Having depression and anxiety at the age of 19 was kind of tough for Michael, even while he had won national medals for the country.

While depression didn’t stop Michael, in 2014, he nearly ended his life, and thoughts of suicide were on his mind.

Fortunately, he survived that year and managed to catch up with life while struggling with PTSD. However, he shared his difficult time on TODAY, saying:

“I was so down on myself, I didn’t have any self-love and quite honestly, I just didn’t want to be alive. It was a really, really, really crazy time for me and I didn’t want to see anybody, because for me, I saw myself as letting so many people down and me, myself in particular, and that’s hard to carry. And I think over those three or four days, where I didn’t want to leave my room, I didn’t want to talk to anybody, I finally realized that I can ask for help and it’s OK to not be OK and for me, that’s what changed my life. I never asked for help, really, ever in my career, and that was the first time that I really did that, I was basically on my knees, just crying for help. I’m lucky to be able to sit down with a therapist and chat and talk and open up.”

Being the best in the world was quite difficult for Michael Phelps, and having occasional anxiety attacks and depression made it even tougher.

However, he still experiences some depression, but now, with a wife, children, and retirement, he seems to have a much calmer and more balanced life compared to his past.

In Case You Don’t Know

  • Michael began swimming at the age of seven.
  • Although retired, he continues to teach swimming and remains an advocate for the sport, mentoring young swimmers.
  • Michael Phelps is married to Nicole Johnson, a former Miss California USA. Together they have three childrens.
Nishan
Nishan
Nishan Dahal writes sports with a human touch, covering breaking news, athlete lives, and the stories that stats can't tell. Nishan believes every athlete has a story worth telling. With the goal of bringing those stories to life with honesty, heart, and a touch of curiosity, he shares his insights through PlayerBio.

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